Like most of humanity, Erin and I have had more than our fair share of challenges in the first half of 2020. However, regardless of everything we are blessed to still have our health, jobs, and sanity. Now we are able to enjoy a few days off from working, selling our home, packing, moving, and putting out an actual raging electrical fire on our old neighbor’s property all in the midst of a global pandemic. Needless to say we were more than happy to take some time and enjoy what we have been referring to as, ‘halftime.’
Anyone who watches football knows that the second half of the game rarely plays out the same as the first. Both teams have a chance to rest, reflect on what they did well and the mistakes they made, pivot their game plan, make necessary adjustments, and come out ready to fight with a renewed sense of energy in the third quarter.
This is our mindset moving forward through the rest of 2020 and beyond!
A little less than a year ago, we began talking about our plans for the future, how we envisioned it, where and how we wanted to live. Prior to meeting her, I had a half-baked plan to buy some land on Lake Atitlán in Guatemala with the intention of creating a Digital Nomad retreat center; a place where remote workers/travelers could come together and discover the local wonder that exists on this magical lake.
Given the current state of the world, I’m glad that I didn’t move forward with that plan.
Dreaming is a vital part of living a fulfilling life. It gives us a reason to keep pushing forward, especially when going through difficult times. Meeting someone that you can co-create a brand new shared dream with is more magnificent than I ever could have imagined. Do we know exactly where we will end up? Nope! After much discussion and research, we easily agreed on relocating somewhere out west.
So we set our sights on the Pacific Northwest!
Earlier this year things began to align for us in the most unusual ways. Like millions of other people around the globe, both of us were forced to work from home until further notice. A couple months later, we were given the green light to work remotely indefinitely. We put the house up for sale and it was under contract in two weeks! We searched tirelessly for a rental out west and she found the perfect lake house on the Idaho/Washington State border not too far from Coeur d’Alene, Idaho.
Our collective powers of manifestation and our ability to get things done together, all while working full time from home have proven that we are an incredible team.
For our personal halftime show, while our material possessions and cars are shipped to our new home, we spent a much needed relaxing week in California visiting her parents.
A little over a week ago we arrived to a place that neither one of us has ever been before, in what will be our new temporary home until we find a spot to build our forever nest. She and I could live anywhere in the world, so long as we have each other we’ll always be home.
This new adventure is one that I can finally share with someone who makes me excited to get out of bed every morning before the sun so we can watch it rise together.
Years from now we’ll look back on the global pandemic and quarantine of 2020 and tell our stories to the younger generations. When that time comes, they’ll ask this question:
“What did you do when you couldn’t leave home for months?”
I consider myself very lucky to still have my job and to be lucky to bough you be working from home until further notice. If that changes, you bet your ass I’ll be hyper-focused on the novel that I started in late 2019.
Many of us will be or already have been laid off, furloughed, forced to work part-time or face some other uncertainties regarding the future of our careers. For those of you with unexpected free time on your hands, I invite you to ask yourselves this simple question:
“What passion have I been neglecting because I’ve been too busy with work?”
Think about that for a moment.
Would you rather your pandemic story be that you devoted your energy to something you’ve previously only dreamt you had time for… or that you squandered your free time binge-watching Netflix, scrolling through social media, looking at memes, or some other means of wasting your energy.
If you choose to make the best of the time you have, start today! Don’t make that empty promise to yourself that you’ll begin ‘tomorrow’… the day that never comes, where all the hopes and dreams of our passions go to die.
In 2019, I found the most incredible woman that I fall deeper in love with every day; something I never would have done had the events of the past decade never occurred.
In 2020, I will be publishing my first book.
I realize how blessed I have been to integrate such valuable lessons after living in such extremities.
2011: Losing my father showed me what real loss was, and I developed a deeper sense of empathy towards others.
2012: Yoga and meditation gave me the tools I needed to quiet my overactive mind, truly listen to people, and focus on the present moment.
2013: Living in New York City made me realize that I am unable to thrive in an environment so disconnected from nature.
2014: Having a stroke taught me why people suffering from anxiety and depression often commit suicide and that most suicidal people don’t want to die, but rather they just want the pain to stop.
2015: Traveling alone in foreign countries taught me how to move forward in the face of fear. I also now understand why people who travel never view the world the same way ever again.
2016: Learning to surf showed me that everything in life, good or bad, comes in waves.
Managing a conscious community and holistic healing retreat center showed me that the bravest men and women are the ones who consistently face their fears, talk about their problems, admit their own shortcomings, and work through them with other people who are walking their own path of self-actualization.
The greatest takeaway of all was gaining a deep understanding that each and every one of us suffers, most of us in silence, in the catacombs of our own troubled minds.
This, my 33rd year on that planet, was where I finally began to understand the true meaning of life as taught by the sages of the earth for thousands of years: Suffering and the cessation of suffering.
2017: The people I have come to trust and respect most on this earth, the co-founders of the Integral Heart Family of Antigua, Guatemala, showed me that the best way to become truly wealthy was to give of myself.
Returning home to Long Island showed me that the ultimate test of enlightenment is to go home after years of traveling and spend time with my family. (Thanks Ram Das 4/6/31 – 12/22/19)
2018: I experienced karma first-hand after taking a job with a company whose founder, Dale Carnegie, wrote a book that helped me dig myself out of the deepest depression of my life.
2019: I met Erin, the love of my life. We never would have met had I not experienced all the pain, suffering, and lessons that this life set out to teach me this past decade.
2020: I feel like my life is just beginning; and as one door opens, another must be shut.
Being back in New York these past two years, I have left my vagabond ways behind and assimilated myself back into “the real world”, whatever the fuck that means. While my body is clearly here, my mind is always wandering, my heart is soaring like never before, and my spirit is leading me down a new path.
For now, I bid farewell to Following Freebird, the place I came to heal myself by openly sharing some of my most private thoughts these past five years. I am grateful to all of you, from my family and friends who have been following my journey, to the random strangers that stumbled upon my blog while Googling “Peyote Ceremony In Tulum.”
I have the utmost gratitude for those who have reached out to me when my mind would retreat to dark places; most of whom never realize how the smallest spark of hope can keep someone’s fire from going out forever.
As this door closes, another has been beckoning to be opened. I have been working on a novel, one I am hoping to finish in 2020. It has been inspired by those I’ve met in my travels and the life I have been so very blessed to live.
Back in 2015, somewhere along the backpacking trail between Puerto Vallarta and Puerto Escondido, I realized that I was traveling not in search of a destination, but rather a feeling. I’d catch glimpses of it when I would get lost in the beauty of the artwork and architecture of an old colonial city, or when I connected with people from the other side of the world and found out that I had more in common with them than most people from my hometown.
These experiences were what became the lifeblood of Following Freebird; to go where I felt the tugging on the strings tethered to my soul. They took me tens of thousands of miles to three continents, only to come back to the place where it all began.
Like Santiago, the young Andalusian shepherd in Paulo Coelho’s novel The Alchemist, determined to fulfill his Personal Legend, I too realized that wherever my heart was, there I would find my treasure.
The treasure that I traveled the world searching for was found in Erin’s love.
You could imagine my surprise when I found out that she got the below tattoo of a bird’s feather just four months before we met. Surely this was just a coincidence. 😉
After years of flying from one place to another, I have found my nest.
And now for the first time in my life, I feel home.
Overlooking the Pleistos Valley on Mount Parnassus in Greece lie the ruins of The Temple of Apollo. Carved into the stone at this temple were 147 Delphic Maxims, said to be given by the Greek God Apollo himself. Quite possibly the most famous of these is the simple yet profound saying “Know thyself.” Among the other 146 maxims is a wealth of ancient insight and values that the most virtuous of people still hold today.
Ancient Greek philosophy arose over a half a millennia before the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. This time and area of the world is often referred to as “The Cradle of Western Civilization.” At the time, philosophy was used as a way to perceive the world through a lens of truth without the influence of dogmatic principles that religion often imposes on its followers.
The maxims are also believed to have come from the Seven Sages of Ancient Greece.
Two hours north of New York City, there are mountains. I’ll meet you there.
Last week the voices in my head were louder than usual, desperately seeking my attention. They were saying the same things they usually did, like “Run Joe, run for your life! Its a trap! Get the hell outta here!” Hmmm, get outta here you say? What’s that… go camping? Brilliant idea! I should listen to the voices more often!
I packed up my camping gear on Thursday night and as soon as I finished work on Friday evening I was off to the Catskills!
I pulled up to Kennedy L. Wilson Campground in Mount Tremper, NY at 8:45pm, just in time to get a site as the check-in station closes at 9:00pm. Hell yeah brother! From there I parked the truck at my site, threw on my headlamp, set up camp, made a fire and cooked up some food as I sipped a bit of Casamigos Tequila and took a few hits of “the pot.”
With clear skies in the forecast all weekend, I left the rain guard off my tent so I could sleep butt-naked underneath the stars… the way we were meant to.
Early the next morning I woke to the pleasant sensation of the sun’s warmth on my face.Damn, this was a great fucking idea… thanks voices!!!
After breakfast I set out to tackle the hiking trail to Overlook Mountain, the old hotel ruins and Fire Tower. This trail, which I hiked three years prior, was three miles uphill and three miles back down with potential to run into rattlesnakes. Hell yes, sign me up!
At the summit, I sat with about a dozen other hikers as we watched the sun and the morning mist battle it out for the rights to the mountain. The mist eventually won though the sun put up a good fight.
My final ascent up the old fire tower provided a much better vantage point to behold this small portion of the Catskills in all their glory.
The way down was much quicker for obvious gravitational reasons. Before getting back in my truck to drive back to my campsite, I overheard part of a conversation between a man and his daughter. This is what I heard:
Daughter: Yeah Dad, you love hiking!
Father: I had no choice, it was either that or stay where I was forever.
My Internal Thoughts: Hell yeah brother!
Once I got back to the campground I was exhausted so I decided to lay down for a little bit. A “little bit” turned out to be two hours and when I woke, the sun was beginning to set and my stomach demanded food so I made a fire and broke out the tequila for an encore of yesterday’s performance.
Other than the obvious reasons for my solo getaway to the mountains, like mental health preservation, clean air and the excitement that came along with the potential for a slow and painful death by a rattlesnake bite or a bear-mauling, I also wanted to finish the manuscript of a book that my good friend Luke trusted me with reading. I was one of his few hand-selected beta readers and he entrusted me with providing him with valuable feedback on this book he’s been working on for years. It is called “The Release of Jerry the Hamster” and it is a story with much deeper message than the title lets on.
I could have finished it a day or two before my camping trip, but I wanted to complete it in the forest, the place where Jerry and his woodland friends in the story had most of their adventures. To say I was impressed by the creativity that Luke poured into the book would be an understatement. This being Luke’s first pass at a to-be-published work of fiction, I can honestly say I am beyond impressed and can not wait until it is shared with the world! All in good time.
It was in this very moment I remember a smile creeping across my face. The voices did me good and my weekend getaway “into the wild” was a complete success. I could not have asked for anything more. As my phone used the final bit of its battery to power my Bluetooth speakers it could not have died after a more perfect song. It was “I Mua” by Nahko, whose final lyrics are “What a beautiful life.” Indeed it is. Not too long after that I crawled into my tent to go to sleep underneath the stars for the last time that weekend, a bittersweet feeling.
I woke again to the sun on my skin the following morning. “What a beautiful life” I said to myself as I stared at the sky before I climbed out of my tent. As I broke down my camping gear and cleaned up my site I felt inspired to leave a little note for whoever may be the next person to stay there; an old Native American adage that I’ve held close to my heart ever since I first read it years ago.
Before I head back home to Long Island, I had to make a quick detour at exit 18 on the NY Thruway, just a half hour drive southeast of my campsite. There I would meet two hooligans that I used to get into trouble with back when we were crazy college kids a decade and a half ago.
In the town of my Alma Mater, SUNY New Paltz, I met Jake aka ‘Boner’ and Dan aka ‘Toilet’ at the new German spot Shatzi’s on Main Street for some food and grapefruit-infused beer before going canoeing in the Roundout Reservoir. Even our old friend, co-worker and famously foul-mouthed ex-P&G’s bartender Jenna met us there for a drink.
Tossing the canoe on top of Dan’s Subaru gave birth to the best Dad joke I’ve heard in months… and thus the word ‘Scanoebaru’ was born!
Scanoebaru… get it!? AHHHH HAHAHAHA!
Paddling a canoe at sunset with good friends and a twelve pack of Miller High Life is, in my honest opinion, the best way that this weekend could have ended.
I’m still not too sure who the girl is, but she came canoeing with us as well. Her, Jake and Dan all got Guatemalan friendship bracelets that day. It was a glorious day for canoes, Subarus and friends.
I’m blessed to be able to heed the calling of my internal voices. Some may call it insanity, others intuition and some even say they’re spirit guides keeping us on course to live the experiences that we’re meant to fulfill in this lifetime. If they keep leading me to weekends in nature and spontaneous meet-ups like this one, you bet I’ll be looking to them for guidance more often than not!
Since I returned to New York after traveling for two and a half years I’ve been asked the same question over and over again: “What made you come back?”
This should answer that question once and for all.
My desire to repatriate came shortly after visiting the Integral Heart Family in Antigua, Guatemala back in July 2017. I had known about the school through my good friend Luke aka ‘Alekosh’ for about a year and had been assisting in the fundraising efforts for the school for roughly six months at that point. I visited him in Lake Atitlán, where he now lives, then he took me to Antigua to go visit the school at the end of my visit.
That’s where a major shift within me occurred.
After walking in to see dozens of the happiest school kids I have ever seen in my life, spending time with them and letting them practice their limited English vocabularies on me, it put so many things in my life into perspective. Later that night, back at the hotel down the road I had yet another epiphany. Lying in bed I began to ponder… What in the actual fuck have I been doing with my life for the past 34 years?
The mantra of my old life path replayed in my mind over and over again like a broken record.
Study so you can get into a good college and then a good job and then find a wife, get married, have kids and make money so they can go to a good college and get a good job and fffffffuuuuuuck!!!!
The sad and honest truth is this: I know too many people that have taken this path are fucking miserable. They may not admit to it, but when I look into their eyes I see souls that have lost their spark.
This happening to me is my #1 actual greatest fear in life.
Let’s not get my words twisted here. I’m not trying to say that there is anything wrong with what has come to be accepted as the “common life path.” I know plenty of couples that have taken it that are truly and genuinely happy and I am happy for them. But for ME, right now, I can’t do all that shit. I have too many things I need to figure out before even considering starting a family. I’ve been on a nonstop path of exponential growth, evolution and change for over four years now. Going down the well-paved road of life would just not have worked for me and I know that if I did take that path I would wake up one day and realize…
I have a deep inner knowing that my purpose right now lies elsewhere right now. Besides, this planet is waaaay overpopulated with humans already. So I took a logical approach to this quandary: Why spend the majority of my time, money and energy raising one, two or three humans when I can spend a fraction of all these things and better the lives of dozens? Not to mention I’d still be free to do whatever the fuck I want… all the time.
All kidding aside, I just could not justify settling down with somebody and bringing a new life into this world when I know of so many human souls already here on Earth that are suffering and in need of help from those born into better circumstances, like myself.
Now back to the story. A couple days later I left Guatemala and returned home, which was at that time in Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca, Mexico. I was happy to be back, but that feeling only lasted a couple of weeks. Afterward I fell into another bout of depression. Having been down this road before, I knew this was just my body telling me that my soul was sad and that I needed time to reflect to figure out why. What the hell was I doing in Mexico anymore anyway? I traveled to almost every corner of this beautiful country, had countless unforgettable experiences, learned a ton of new skills, focused on old and newly discovered passions and made hundreds of new friends, but for what?
What was I actually going to do? What was my purpose?I didn’t have an answer for that. All I knew was this: I needed a change.
After living with these thoughts and feelings for a few weeks, I decided to meditate and pray on the situation. I asked my guidance for an opportunity to make money and help others. A few days later I received a call from a friend who was working as an insurance adjuster in Central Florida after Hurricane Irma ripped through the area. Damn I’m good at manifesting!
I immediately began to pack up my belongings, said goodbye to friends and booked a flight to Orlando and worked as an insurance adjuster for about two months. So how was it? About eight hours a day every day we were assessing damage to multiple houses, we’d climb onto about three roofs per day in the hot sun and take a butt-load of photos of all the damage. Then we went to our AirBnB/office and input the data into the computer and compile damage reports for another eight hours or until we passed out from exhaustion, whichever comes first. It sucked, but the money was good so whatever, we dealt with it. End of that story.
When the work was complete, I came back to New York. This was extremely difficult for me at first. It was the tail end of autumn, right about the time when the weather really started to suck. After living in the tropics for so long, having the sun set on you before 5:00pm is depressing as fuck.
I didn’t know what I was going to do for work and the first few weeks I spent most of my days sleeping past noon, watching TV and drinking… alone. How enlightening! I knew I didn’t come back to New York for this empty soul-sucking existence I’ve been living since returning so I intensified my job search and reignited my spiritual practice that I put on hold since I left Mexico.
Again, I asked myself “What exactly am I looking for?” and again the same answer: “The opportunity to make money and help others.” Hmmm… Maybe I need to be a little more specific this time.
“I am looking for a career that pays me good money to work for a company that is in the business of improving the lives of others.” BINGO, nailed it! OK, now off to manifest the shit out of this one!
Below is an accurate dramatization of my face when I read it.
No way! A job that I can absolutely rock while working for a company that I have deeply respected for years after reading Dale Carnegie‘s world-famous bestselling book How to Win Friends and Influence People. This is MY fucking job and if anyone else thinks they have even a small chance at getting it they are S-O-L my friend! I do need to pay homage to my ex-girlfriend Hillary for gifting this book to me years ago. Thanks Hill! (Full Disclosure: She lent me the book. I stole it. She’s never getting it back.)
Needless to say, I got the job. I started back in late February and I never thought I’d be so excited to wake up every morning and go into an office as I am now! Finding this job was the piece in my life that was missing for years. I wanted to put myself in a position to be of service to others. This job ensures that my hypothetical ‘cup’ is constantly being refilled so that it may overflow to those less fortunate than I am.
Another great thing about this job is they are employee-focused so that I can focus my spare time on my own passions in life such as traveling, altruism, DJing and writing. These along with my new career path at Dale Carnegie & Associates make up the cornerstones of my life and what I need to maintain my own personal balance in order to feed my soul.
The person that I was years ago is gone.Finally, after years of seeking I have finally found what I was truly searching for all along: balance and purpose.
Could I have found this without traveling? I seriously doubt it. I would have likely stayed in my misery and kept pushing forward if I never had that stroke give me the warning of a lifetime:
“Live. Really live! …or die… your choice.”
Hemingway knew what he was talking about when he said:
In order to write about life, first you must live it.
And lived it I have! So that’s it. I figured out my life. Everything is great.
And they all lived happily ever after!
Nah… that would be a horribly boring ending wouldn’t it? Now we get into the good stuff! The second act is starting and now I get to dive deeper into the greater questions in life and focus on more existential queries. One in particular that I’ve been battling for some time is this: Why are we here on Earth? Seriously… what in the actual fuck are we doing here?
In my life experience so far, researching the life works of some of the greatest minds that have ever lived, traveling, meeting new people from all corners of the Earth and learning to tap into and follow my own intuition I keep coming back to the same answer: To live my life in my highest truth and help others, especially those in need.
This is what I have to come realize is my deeper purpose in this life and that’s what I’ll continue to do until my last breath.
When we live life solely in service to ourselves, our life force naturally diminishes. ~ Sakyong Mipham
What a glorious act of synchronicity that I have come in contact with so many amazing people throughout the world, especially those who have put their blood sweat and tears into creating the Integral Heart Family of Antigua, Guatemala. Débora Prieto, Mick Quinn & Luke Maguire Armstrong are angels to these 80+ children and their families and I am blessed to be even a small part of this school’s ongoing success!
Just last week we did a huge fundraising push as GlobalGiving, the platform we use to crowdfund for the school, was matching 50% of all donations! We saw this incredible opportunity to raise a substantial amount of money so we put in lots of planning and reached out to our collective networks of generous friends and family. The squad in Antigua even found someone to make a professional video for the occasion.
The end result? After three days of reaching out to our friends and family we crowdfunded over $10,000 in donations from 138 different people. The amounts below don’t include the 50% match or the $1,000 bonus for finishing in second place out of over 3,700 other organizations also fundraising through GlobalGiving.
Long story short, we are altruistic gangstaz!
I know what you’re thinking. Who is the adorable little girl with that great big smile holding the “Thank You” sign? Her name is Guadalupe ‘Lupita’ Chiwichón and she is one of the newest members of the school. I’ve been seeing her a lot on the Integral Heart Family’s Facebook page lately and love watching her quick transformation from the shy new girl into this bright ray of sunshine bursting with light! This child is my spirit animal!
I inquired to Mick and Débora about her and to see if she had a sponsor yet. They informed me that she was still in need of one and then proceeded to tell me her story.
WARNING: By reading the next paragraph you are at deep risk of invoking “all the feels”
Lupita’s Story (so far): Lupita is four years old and was abandoned by her mom at her sister’s house. Her birth-father is an alcoholic who has never cared about her. Her aunt, who already has four children of her own, was widowed after her husband was killed. She takes care of her own four children along with Lupita while she works making tortillas and earns roughly 25 quetzales or just over $3 per day.
Unfortunately this story is all too common for the vast majority of Lupita’s new classmates in this poverty stricken region of Guatemala. Children are abandoned by parents who don’t have the means to care for them mostly due to circumstances beyond their control. Luckily for these children, organizations like the Integral Heart Family and Pencils of Promise are working to end this for many who are subject to generational poverty through a combination of education, community and love.
That same day, I made the decision to become Lupita’s sponsor. For the cost of about a dollar a day, or by donating less than 0.01% of my annual gross income, her life will improve drastically.
Seems insanely affordable. Why not double down?
So yeah, I’m sponsoring two kids at the Integral Heart Family.
This little dude’s name is Bryon Diaz. He doesn’t know it just yet, but he and I are gonna be bros. Here’s his story:
WARNING: Even higher risk of the ‘feels’ in next paragraph
Byron’s Story (so far): He was born to a family living in a garbage dump. When he was born, his sisters Maria and Carmen had just been taken out of the dump and put in school by Luke in the program he was working for at the time called Nuestros Ahijados or Godschild Project. His mother was renting his sisters to a man for pennies a day so they could salvage recyclables in the garbage dump. His mother more or less neglected him and his sister Carmen, who at the time was eight years old. Carmen cared for him more than his mother and is the one currently ensuring he goes to school and gets an education.
Bryon’s Sister Carmen Before Nuestros Ahijados Intervened:
Maria, Byron & Carmen Diaz
How do I feel with my choice to sponsor two children in Guatemala? It was the easiest and best decision I’ve ever made in my life. Am I worried about the money going to the right place? Not at all. I’ve had a personal relationship with the founders of the organization for over a year now and they are some of the smartest and most caring people I’ve ever met in my life. If I can’t trust them with my donations, then I can’t trust anyone with anything.
Lupita and Byron are living just two of the 85 stories of the children currently attending the Integral Heart Family’s Education Center. There are dozens more with situations similar to theirs, some even more harrowing, and many of them are in desperate need of sponsors as well. If you can spare $35 – $55 a month to change a child’s life and ensure that they are provided with proper nutrition, medical care and school programs, please take it under consideration. The amount of satisfaction you receive from forever changing a life far outweighs having one extra dollar in your pocket every day.
Searching for an exit from debilitating neck pain that altered his course in 2015, Luke spent time living in Thai monasteries and studying yoga and meditation in Thailand, Cambodia, Mexico, Guatemala, and the US.
For the last five years a companion on his journeying has been an imaginary hamster named Jerry. His novel “The Release of Jerry the Hamster,” is on the final lap of finishing and he will be shopping it to publishers soon.
He currently resides in San Marcos, Guatemala on the coast of Lake Atitlán. If you go here and ask for someone by the name of Luke Maguire Armstrong, you will not find him. While in Guatemala the local Mayan people know him simply as “Alekosh.”
Débora Prieto was born in Vigo, Spain in October of 1972. She is an educator of mentally handicapped children and studied philosophy for three years at the University of Madrid. Débora’s active interest in perennial philosophies continues to this day.
From an early age Débora felt a deep interest for matters and reasoning that few around her considered important, let alone essential. Naturally, she followed a life-path that was more closely aligned with her social and cultural conditioning. She got married, found a secure job with benefits, and bought a house. She also developed some serious addictions that eventually led her to an existential crisis which offered her a choice between a life of contradiction and denial or somehow breaking free from everything she knew as being familiar.
Débora decided to take the more trusting option and shortly after separating from her husband and closing many friendships that had no true basis, she happened upon a writer who had just moved to the country across the river, Portugal, from where she lived in Western Spain. Thanks to him she was introduced to meditation and the possibility of living in a completely different way.
Débora met her future and current husband, an Irishman named Mick, quite by coincidence on Saint Patrick’s Day in 2004. From the day their paths merged they have been inseparable in an adventure of learning, growing, and evolution that has driven them until this moment in which they both work, travel and teach together on the joy of life beyond conditioning and the wondrous possibility of relationships free from personal conditioned conflict. They were married in 2007 in Ireland.
As a result of her interest in the works of Ken Wilber, Debora discovered the Big Mind Process developed by Genpo Roshi, which integrates Eastern and Western wisdom in an astonishingly original and effective manner. Débora has trained intensively since 2007 in Salt Lake City, Utah with Genpo Roshi, his staff, and Diane Hamilton in the process. In 2009 she was ordained as a monk in the Zen tradition of Sōtō.
In 2011, she and her husband Mick founded the Integral Heart Foundation which creates conscious leaders through heart-centered sponsorship and educational programs which include the development of mind, body, spirit and emotions. The education center provides education for children from families who live in poverty around the city of Antigua Guatemala.
Both Débora and Mick currently manage the education center and its six staff members. The center is currently home to 85 children with 6 learning programs, a Teacher-Training Program, a library and is serving 1,500 nutritious meals and snacks every month. Since 2011, their programs have delivered classes and support to over 1,200 children and their families in Guatemala.
Together, their Critical-Thinking/Advanced Functioning Skills and Education Sponsorship Programs have reached an additional 2,800 students and are creating sustainable community leaders. They have also provided over 2,500 food baskets to our 40 sponsored families.
Mick was born and raised in Catholic Ireland. While viewing the film “Angela’s Ashes” in a theater in New York City, he turned to his American friend and said, “Do you remember when you asked what it was like growing up in Ireland? Well, it was just like this! It was a place where I was surrounded by the continual likelihood of ‘normal’ people doing the most abnormal things; actions that were considered acceptable and customary and were embraced and protected.”
In 1986, like thousands before him, he left his home country. Mick chased the “American Dream,” found it, embraced it and then turned his back on it. After spending seven years as an illegal alien in Boston, doing anything and everything to survive, he “won” his Green Card in the lottery in 1993. This was the first turning point in his life.
The second turning point came when he was taking a meditation class taught by William Arntz, who directed and bankrolled the hit movie, “What the Bleep Do We Know!?” On Will’s advice, Mick sold a service business he started in 1987 and moved to New York City. Then in 1994 a big break came when Mick joined a fledgling recruiting company as a junior partner. In two and a half years the company grew to eight national offices with annual revenues of $25 million.
Mick also became engaged for a time to a daughter of one of the wealthiest families in the US. Now, both his home and business addresses were on New York City’s prestigious Fifth Avenue.
This first company merged with a competitor from California as part of a pre-IPO strategy in 1997. Mick resigned his position shortly after the merger and with the two top sales people from that first company he started another venture, again from the 79th floor of World Trade Center, Tower 1. With intense effort this company ran to $3 million in a year and a half at which point Mick accepted a cash deal for his partnership in a hostile buyout move by his partners.
Tired of computer technology, Mick then started an executive coaching practice to help CEOs and other individuals balance their professional and private lives. His period as a coach gave him the time and flexibility to travel, and with a growing interest in meditation and Buddhism he traveled all over the US and to places like India and France on spiritual retreats.
On August 26th, 2001, while sitting in meditation everything became clear in a moment. Because of this, Mick decided to wind down his NYC-based life to see what might unfold from this realization. His quandary about how to resolve his seven-year business identity with the World Trade Centers was answered two weeks later on the morning of September 11.
Now without an income, his plans to begin a new life had been shuttled into overdrive. It took Mick about two years to wind down his busy life. A brief search for a home in Europe yielded a restored 19th Century watermill in northern Portugal, which he purchased the very day he viewed it.
This move also to led his path to cross with that of his wife, Debora, a native of neighboring Spain, and to a publishing deal in Spain and Latin America for his book Power and Grace – The Wisdom of Awakening.
Mick is currently leading workshops in three countries, notably the Integral Heart Foundation of Antigua, Guatemala. His work is quoted and featured in many publications, including The Washington Times, ADD Magazine, and Woman’s Weekly. He is a former NYC CEO, executive mentor, a sales and marketing expert and a serial entrepreneur with four successful startups in seven years totaling $35 million in revenues.
Being sexually active for the past two decades and a DJ for the past 11 years, I have recently begun to notice striking similarities between these acts.
When done properly, both are created on the same foundation: connection, seduction, stimulation, build up, climax, and reflection. In the instance of sex, there are two people, but in DJing, there isthe DJ and the crowd. Seducing one person is a beautiful thing; but seducing an entire group of people, many of whom you’ve never met before, is truly an art.
Join me as I walk you through the art of DJing and making love, simultaneously.
You walk into a room where music is playing and we notice each other. I look at you directly in the eyes and give a subtle hint of a smile to let you know I’m interested. You smile back at me and my gaze remains unbroken as you shyly look away. I like that. The music is subtle with low BPM to hypnotize the audience and lay the foundation for what is about to come. The DJ toys with the low-frequency knob on the mixer at the perfect moments of each track just to remind you that he’s here. I also want you to know I am here so I approach you and introduce myself. We chat over drinks and the time seems to pass by without us even noticing. You’re smiling. I’m smiling. We’re enjoying each other’s company. The music and the atmosphere have put us all in a trance-like state. Intuition tellsthe DJ and I that now is the right time to turn it up a notch.
We get closer. After teasing for a while, I start touching you ever so gently as we begin to dance. The BPM rises intuitively as the mood of the room changes and more people flow onto the dance floor. Our heartbeats and breathing quickens, keeping pace with the tempo of the music. Your eyes, body language, and lips beg for me to kiss you. I pull you close to me and bring your lips inches from mine. I can now see and feel the extent of your yearning. I am in control and I can tell that you love it.
In the same moment, the DJ also knows he has us. We are his and he is in a groove operating purely on instincts. The music blends effortlessly from one track to the next so the crowd is blissfully unaware of any transitions. All they know is that they are immersed in the present moment and there is nothing else in the world other than here and now. The same goes for us. I see no one but you and you see none other than me. Our breath is in sync, and upon seeing the aching wantingness in your eyes, I grab you by your back with one hand and the back of your neck with the other. Your hands find their way to my face so as not to lose my piercing gaze. Our lips finally meet and there’s no turning back now.
We kiss ever so gently at first as everything around us slows down. What was once a crowded dance floor has now transformed into a space made only for you and me. Our hands wander to explore each other’s bodies just as the bass kicks in to mirror our pounding hearts. Faster they beat as the DJ raises the BPM ever so slightly. Tonight, he is our sexual guru.
I take you by the hand and lead you to a place where we can be more intimate. We allow the music to be the maestro of our approaching sexual encounter. We begin kissing again, softly at first and building up with the music to a more passionate and primal nature. I grab your hair and gently but firmly pull it back to expose your neck. I kiss it at first, then I start to nibble as you yelp with excitement. I pull away as the DJ kills the bass once more. Be here now with me and stare into my eyes before we move any further. I am with you and you are with me. Tonight, we are one.
A breakdown in the music with a lovely melody induces a feeling of nostalgia deep within everyone here tonight. We hear the crowd whistling and clapping to the beat where the missing bass drum would be. You and I have locked eyes and begin to disrobe each other; slowly, at first and kissing all the while. Our lips are never too far apart. Why would they be? We exchange soft smiles as we playfully tease each other. As our flesh becomes exposed, our savage nature takes over and we become wild beasts as the intensity of the bass drum slowly rises. Your nipples are erect and so am I. I lay you down gently then take your nipple into my mouth as you gasp. The music begins to build as the crowd’s anticipation for the drop increases. They want it, almost as much as you want me.
Lower I go, slowly and gently kissing your stomach every inch of the way down your body’s beautiful curves until I arrive at your clitoris. It begs for my tongue, but all it will receive right now is my breath. I look up and we lock our eyes once more. In this moment, the tip of my tongue finally makes contact with your clit. You yelp as the dance floor simultaneously erupts with excitement over the highly anticipated drop. The DJ is finally getting into his secret weapon that he was waiting for the perfect moment to unleash. The same goes for me. My tongue massages your clit as the DJ plays with the filter and delay effects on the mixer. I lick my finger and slowly slip it inside you to rub your G spot as the synth and bassline tickle the ears of the crowd.
Anticipation builds on the dance floor as it does inside of us. Sweat pours from the faces of those dancing just as the juices flow from your p*ssy. The DJ looks up and smiles at the crowd as they erupt with cheers of approval. I look up to smile at you. You smile back, grab me by the hair, and whisper softly, “I want you inside me.”
I bring my lips to yours once more so you can taste your own sweet juices as the dance floor breathes in the collective mixture of airborne pheromones. The DJ throws his favorite track in a loop before the drop, keeping the crowd in suspense as I rub the tip of my d*ck up and down the opening of your p*ssy. The crowd wants it, but you want it more. Their hands are in the air as yours dig into my back. The DJ and I give what is wanted, and both parties let out a sigh of ecstasy.
I am inside of you as the DJ is inside the collective spirit of the crowd. Now is the time where everything we have been waiting for and been wanting to give will be unleashed. The crowd dances uncontrollably as your body writhes with pure bliss. We all enter a collective trance-like state as the DJ plays the final peak-hour track. As the excitement builds on the dance floor, the same goes for our loins. They dance harder as we gyrate faster. Muscles begin contracting as you and I climax together in an explosion of pleasure. In this moment, we embrace one another as the music begins to fade. We melt into each other as our breath slowly returns to normal. Our hearts are pressed up against one another and our gaze is once again locked. We kiss once more as the crowd bursts out in applause as the DJ allows the final track to fade out.
Do you see what happened here? Conscious connection with a lover and the crowd are what made both acts such a loving and memorable experience for all involved. Good things take time. Deep conscious connection takes patience. I’m sure you can recall a sexual encounter that felt as if your partner was racing for the finish line and not delaying gratification by any means. This is not lovemaking and a similar approach behind the decks is not good DJing.
A true DJ knows not to start off his set with high BPM hard techno just as an exceptional lover knows not to hop on the express train to Pound Town. You need to build up to that and save it only if your intuition tells you that is what the crowd wants. The same goes for making love to your partner. You need to be gentle at first, allow a sacred bond to be built between you both, and listen to their body. That will tell you everything you need to know so long as you learn to read their body language. A lover must watch the body of their partner the way a DJ watches the movements and feels the vibe of a crowd. It’s only by tapping into the consciousness of those we wish to seduce that we will succeed in planting the seeds for a more conscious society.
At the end of the day, both the DJ and the lover are tasked with taking you on a journey of the senses. It is one of life’s true treasures to exchange acts of pleasure with another while receiving gratification in return. To take what was once an unsuspecting subject, and transport them into a realm immersed in unbridled and unhinged hedonism, is a great gift that takes years to master.
Whether it’s on the dance floor or between the sheets, there is no greater experience in this life than forging deep sensory connections with other souls. And if one day I find a way to blend these two blissful acts of art in motion simultaneously, I’d consider my life complete.